My Eighteen Month Old Little Girl Scares Me
Posted: Monday, July 21, 2008
by Dan Bimrose
Liberal Fix
I have two sixteen year old boys. I have one 6 year old son. I have two girls under the age of 18 months. I have learned how to handle the boys. I have a great deal of experience with boys. I was once a boy. That helps.
With girls however, I am breaking new ground. All of my children are perfect of course. Yet for some reason my eighteen month old little girl sometimes, well quite honestly, she makes me tremble with fear. Is she adorable? Absolutely. Does she make me laugh? Multiple times every day.
I know, I know all little kids like to put on their parents shoes. No, it is much more serious than that. Admittedly she does not discriminate. She is just as likely to put on my work boots as she is her mother's tennis shoes. She spends the majority of the day clomping around in some oversized pair of shoes. So much so that I am scared she will turn her ankle some day.
So what is it that is scaring me? It is a combination of factors.
The first one is that "shoe" is one of the first three words that she learned. She learned how to say "Mommy" first of course. Then she learned how to say "shoe" and then she learned "Daddy". You can see where I rank.
The second thing is that she can walk in a pair of high heels as good as any adult. I am not kidding on this one. I have never tried walking in a pair of high heels. I do not know first hand what the difficulty factor is. I did have the impression, however, that it was a rather difficult thing for some to master. Yet my eighteen month old has done so.
Is this normal? Is she a phenomenon like Tiger Woods? The problem as I see it is that Tiger Woods special ability would eventually make him millions and millions. My daughter's ability could potentially cost me dearly.
There is just one more thing. My wife told me the other day that while she was cleaning the house she walked by our daughter while she was flipping through a People magazine. Libby (a.k.a the princess) had stopped on a page in the magazine which was devoted to showing us what certain stars were wearing to a red carpet event. She was pointing at the footwear on each picture and saying, "shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes."
This can not be good for me. What does my future hold? I am scared to death that the next word she learns will be "mall". It is one syllable. It would be easy enough for her to say.
I am confident though that it will be a little while before she masters the words, "credit card".
Dan Bimrose is the creator of coffeeandprozac.com a website devoted to making people think, laugh or cry. Daily Opinions, Editorials, and Stories He suggests dropping bread crumbs so that you can find your way back on a daily basis.
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)hi dan,this was well written, interesting, and cute. maybe, instead of wanting to wear shoes, your daughter will grow up to be a designer of shoes. now wouldn't that be a money making endeavor?thanks for sharing,best regards,sue thomPlease log in to respond to this comment.
I don't know Dan... "cash" is a one syllable word.... "money" is a pretty easy one too. If she can say "Daddy", I bet "money" isn't far behind...Please log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Dan. This is a cute and well written article. I enjoyed it and I understand your fear, but maybe Sue is right. Anyway, don't actually worry too much about the shoes. She's probably just "trying on" different roles to see how they fit...construction worker, fashion model, celebrity. Now if her facinations was with knives... :)DiannePlease log in to respond to this comment.
Dan, this is great! it made me smile and it brought to mind who my husband felt when our daughter was two. You see, she had gotten sick at a birthday party because everybody kept feeding the cute little two-year old. My husband picked her up, and she puked all over his shoulder, but it had dripped down onto her shoes. She looked at Art and started to cry. He thought she felt bad for getting it all over his shirt, but out of her mouth came. "My shoes got dirty". She is now 20 and her shoes are still very important, they come in close 2nd to her purse fettish. Be afraid Dan, be very afraid :-)Please log in to respond to this comment.
This guy is great! Have you guys checked out his past articles. This guy is the next Andy Rooney. It is so nice to have something to laugh about in this world today.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Don't worry, my sons first word was vaccumn and he was obsessed at the time. I even bought him a toy Dyson. He has (now age 4) recovered from this and did quite some time ago. Though I fear in your daughters case, shoes will be a life long obsession, as many women do obsess about shoes...I am one of them! It's harmless. :) You have nothing to fear except ever decreasing storage space.Please log in to respond to this comment.
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